Should a girl ask a guy to date her or wait for him to make the first move?

Should a female initiate a romantic relationship or lead during the courtship?

Feminism and society in general do not provide reliable guidance in this matter, but scriptural principles do. Courtship is a special time when a couple forms the framework of their marriage relationship. They are getting to know one another differently and more deeply than they did before. This is the time for the man to inspire his prospective wife’s confidence in his leadership; she learns to trust him because his decisions are for their mutual benefit and she learns to communicate with him in these vital matters. This is likewise the time for the woman to cultivate respect for her prospective husband’s leadership; he learns that she expects and accepts his leadership and that he can openly communicate his feelings regard -ing these issues. A couple makes a mistake to proceed with their relationship if both are not open and mutually comfortable regarding these matters.

A sister initiating the relationship starts the relationship "on the wrong foot." If she has to lead at this point, won’t she have to lead throughout the relationship? Eventually this arrangement will not be fulfilling for her or her partner, nor will it fulfill the biblical model.

Maintaining this principle may be understandably frustrating to a sister. Among several reasons for this, these may present the greatest difficulties: some brothers seem to enjoy the self-gratification of being pursued by women; some seem to have forgotten that beauty of character is more valuable than physical adornment and therefore hardly seem to notice godly sisters who have chosen to avoid worldly means of exploiting physical attractiveness. Despite all of this, prayerfully maintaining God’s ways is always best.

D. Oliver
Other pages in this section

About this site

How can God guide me in making an important decision?

Be the first to give an answer to this question. Write an answer in the comment section below. Please provide your name and if you have a website or blog, be sure to include the URL and email address in your answer.

Answers will be reviewed.

Other pages in this section

About this site

How is the Spirits filling different from His anointing?

How is the Spirits filling different from His anointing?

Individuals were anointed with oil to identify them as divinely appointed to a work. They thus had the honor of being identified with God and the work He gave them. They became the "Lords anointed" (1 Samuel 24:10;" TARGET="_blank">1 Samuel 24:10; see also Psalm 105:15)." TARGET="_blank">Psalm 105:15).

The Lord Jesus was Gods Anointed, meaning Messiah or Christ. Referring to His baptism, Peter says, "God anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Ghost and with power" (Acts 10:38)." TARGET="_blank">Acts 10:38). His work and identification with God follow this statement of honor, for He "went about doing good, and healing all that were oppressed of the devil; for God was with Him." The Savior said, "The Spirit of the Lord is upon Me, because He hath anointed Me to preach the gospel..." (Luke 4:18)." TARGET="_blank">Luke 4:18).

God never gives a work without enabling the worker; therefore, the Spirit was "upon Me" (enabling) because He "anointed Me" (identification and honor). We likewise have an anointing (1 John 2:20," TARGET="_blank">1 John 2:20, YLT), befitting to those in Gods family who are now able to know God and His truth.

Being filled with the Spirit suggests capability for a work, whereas being anointed with the Spirit expresses honor and identification for a work.

D. Oliver
Other pages in this section

About this site

Can angels sin?

Can angels sin?

Many angels have sinned in the past. Jude 1:6" TARGET="_blank">Jude 1:6 says

And the angels who did not stay within their own position of authority, but left their proper dwelling, he has kept in eternal chains under gloomy darkness until the judgment of the great day

2 Peter 2:4" TARGET="_blank">2 Peter 2:4 also says

For if God did not spare angels when they sinned, but cast them into hell and committed them to chains of gloomy darkness to be kept until the judgment;

Ephesians 6:12" TARGET="_blank">Ephesians 6:12 also mentions these evil spiritual beings…

For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.

It can be assumed that these fallen angels sinned at the same time as Satan, or Lucifer, sinned and fell. (Isaiah 14:12-15)." TARGET="_blank">Isaiah 14:12-15). Some angels therefore have sinned. It appears that some angels, or unclean spirits, or demons still roam freely in the universe, while others are kept in eternal chains.

The Bible says that another class of angels is “elect” (1 Timothy 5:21)." TARGET="_blank">1 Timothy 5:21). The Lord mentioned his holy angels in Matthew 25:31" TARGET="_blank">Matthew 25:31 and Mark 8:38." TARGET="_blank">Mark 8:38.

The fact that these angels are "elect" and "holy" leads us to believe that they did not sin with Satan, nor will they sin now or in the future. They are eternally chosen to be set apart to serve God. Just as believers are called "elect", and therefore secure of eternal life, angels too, must be eternally holy. Angels have no hope of redemption once fallen. The death of Christ was for the world of humanity. Those angels who are elect are not guilty of sinning.

Shad David Sluiter

Other pages in this section

About this site

Are some overseers entitled to more spiritual weight than others?

Are some overseers entitled to more spiritual weight than others?

This questions requires particular balance in its answer, because the answer is both "yes" and "no." The consistent character, experience, and Biblical understanding of some overseers gives them greater "moral authority." The insights of such men deserve particular consideration. That consideration is afforded by others. If a man demands or obviously expects that consideration, he loses moral authority. Neither personality nor manipulative skill gives spiritual weight, not even age alone (Pro 16:31)." TARGET="_blank">Pro 16:31).

While each overseer is personally accountable to the Lord (Acts 20:28;" TARGET="_blank">Acts 20:28; Heb 13:17)," TARGET="_blank">Heb 13:17), the oversight functions as a unit (1Ti 4:14)" TARGET="_blank">1Ti 4:14) in which each elder is essential to the working of the whole. Spiritual weight will influence the decisions of the overseers only to the extent it addresses the issue at hand with the truth of the Word of God. Oversight decisions are not by majority vote, by weighted votes, or by a poll of all in the assembly, but through a consensus that considers all the overseers. Only such consideration fulfills the servant-leadership role the Lord described and exemplified (Mark 10:42-45;" TARGET="_blank">Mark 10:42-45; Phi 2:3-8)." TARGET="_blank">Phi 2:3-8).

The suggested answer then is "yes," because the character and Biblical insights of some will have greater influence on the oversight’s deliberations, and "no," because each overseer has equal responsibility for the decisions made by the oversight.

D. Oliver
Other pages in this section

About this site

Will there be regrets in Heaven for believers?

Will Christians who waste their lives feel regret in Heaven for all eternity? Yes.

The key passages on the rewards of the believer at the Judgement Seat of Christ is found in 1 Corinthians 3:11-15" TARGET="_blank">1 Corinthians 3:11-15 and in the parables of reward mentioned in Luke 19" TARGET="_blank">Luke 19 and Matthew 25." TARGET="_blank">Matthew 25.

1 Corinthians 3:11-15" TARGET="_blank">1 Corinthians 3:11-15 teaches security for a believer as well as losses that occur when a believer's work is evaluated by God as worthless…

(11) For no one can lay a foundation other than that which is laid, which is Jesus Christ. (12) Now if anyone builds on the foundation with gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, straw-- (13) each one's work will become manifest, for the Day will disclose it, because it will be revealed by fire, and the fire will test what sort of work each one has done. (14) If the work that anyone has built on the foundation survives, he will receive a reward. (15) If anyone's work is burned up, he will suffer loss, though he himself will be saved, but only as through fire.

Observations about the Judgment Seat of Christ:

The foundation is Christ. A believer doesn't worry about building his salvation or collecting enough good works in order to enter heaven.
The works are judged, not the person. The believer is not going to pass through fire or suffer torments of hell to purify him. In the day of reckoning God will look at motives and actions that one has done on the earth and those actions will be put through the fire, not the person himself.
The person whose works are shown to be worthless will be saved even though it will be like escaping from a fire with nothing but the bare necessities.

"He will suffer loss" is the key phrase that answers the question about regrets in heaven. Believers will lose out on something great. But what is the loss? Matthew 25" TARGET="_blank">Matthew 25 and Luke 19" TARGET="_blank">Luke 19 tell us what is at stake.

Luke 19:11-27" TARGET="_blank">Luke 19:11-27 As they heard these things, he proceeded to tell a parable, because he was near to Jerusalem, and because they supposed that the kingdom of God was to appear immediately. (12) He said therefore, "A nobleman went into a far country to receive for himself a kingdom and then return. (13) Calling ten of his servants, he gave them ten minas, and said to them, 'Engage in business until I come.' (14) But his citizens hated him and sent a delegation after him, saying, 'We do not want this man to reign over us.' (15) When he returned, having received the kingdom, he ordered these servants to whom he had given the money to be called to him, that he might know what they had gained by doing business. (16) The first came before him, saying, 'Lord, your mina has made ten minas more.' (17) And he said to him, 'Well done, good servant! Because you have been faithful in a very little, you shall have authority over ten cities.' (18) And the second came, saying, 'Lord, your mina has made five minas.' (19) And he said to him, 'And you are to be over five cities.' (20) Then another came, saying, 'Lord, here is your mina, which I kept laid away in a handkerchief; (21) for I was afraid of you, because you are a severe man. You take what you did not deposit, and reap what you did not sow.' (22) He said to him, 'I will condemn you with your own words, you wicked servant! You knew that I was a severe man, taking what I did not deposit and reaping what I did not sow? (23) Why then did you not put my money in the bank, and at my coming I might have collected it with interest?' (24) And he said to those who stood by, 'Take the mina from him, and give it to the one who has the ten minas.' (25) And they said to him, 'Lord, he has ten minas!' (26) 'I tell you that to everyone who has, more will be given, but from the one who has not, even what he has will be taken away. (27) But as for these enemies of mine, who did not want me to reign over them, bring them here and slaughter them before me.'"

Observations about the parable:

The servants are waiting in faith that their master will return. The kingdom is coming and the master of the house will be calling his servants to account for how they acted while he was away.
Each servant was given the same amount of money – one talent. A talent is a measurement of weight, 125 pounds to be exact. It was a sizable amount of wealth that he entrusted to each servant. The equal amount of wealth is similar to the things we all have equally – one life, one reputation, one family, one set of friends etc.
Each servant brought different results. The most diligent earned 10 times the original amount.
Each servant received further authority in the Kingdom of God directly proportional to the results of their work. In the age of the Millennium, Christ will reign over the earth and his saints will reign with him (Revelation 20:4)." TARGET="_blank">Revelation 20:4). 1 Corinthians 6:3" TARGET="_blank">1 Corinthians 6:3 states simply "we will judge angels". Clearly, we will share the job of ruling with Christ Himself.

In other scripture references regarding rewards, the symbol of authority, the crown, is the reward of a believer. The believer who is faithful here will be given more and greater work to do for Christ in the future. James 1:12" TARGET="_blank">James 1:12 says that those who endure trials will receive "the crown of life". 2 Timothy 4:8" TARGET="_blank">2 Timothy 4:8 says that Paul is expecting a "crown of righteousness" 1 Peter 5:4" TARGET="_blank">1 Peter 5:4 says that shepherds who faithfully guided the flock will receive an "unfading crown of glory". Revelation 2:10" TARGET="_blank">Revelation 2:10 says that faithful martyrs will receive a "crown of life". Rewards are not mere medals that decorate uniforms; the reward is a position of responsibility, to be trusted by God to carry out his will.

5) The loss of promotion for the final servant left him completely empty in the coming kingdom. We lose what we don't use. "From the one who has not, even what he has will be taken away." (v.26) Comparing the phrase in 1 Corinthians 3:15" TARGET="_blank">1 Corinthians 3:15 "He shall suffer loss" with this parable shows that the loss is further work to be done for the Lord. The cup of cold water will not be forgotten. Neither will the lazy Christian who wasted his life.

Matthew 25" TARGET="_blank">Matthew 25 contains a similar parable to Luke 19," TARGET="_blank">Luke 19, but with a few notable differences.

Matthew 25:14-30" TARGET="_blank">Matthew 25:14-30 "For it will be like a man going on a journey, who called his servants and entrusted to them his property. (15) To one he gave five talents, to another two, to another one, to each according to his ability. Then he went away. (16) He who had received the five talents went at once and traded with them, and he made five talents more. (17) So also he who had the two talents made two talents more. (18) But he who had received the one talent went and dug in the ground and hid his master's money. (19) Now after a long time the master of those servants came and settled accounts with them. (20) And he who had received the five talents came forward, bringing five talents more, saying, 'Master, you delivered to me five talents; here I have made five talents more.' (21) His master said to him, 'Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.' (22) And he also who had the two talents came forward, saying, 'Master, you delivered to me two talents; here I have made two talents more.' (23) His master said to him, 'Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.' (24) He also who had received the one talent came forward, saying, 'Master, I knew you to be a hard man, reaping where you did not sow, and gathering where you scattered no seed, (25) so I was afraid, and I went and hid your talent in the ground. Here you have what is yours.' (26) But his master answered him, 'You wicked and slothful servant! You knew that I reap where I have not sown and gather where I scattered no seed? (27) Then you ought to have invested my money with the bankers, and at my coming I should have received what was my own with interest. (28) So take the talent from him and give it to him who has the ten talents. (29) For to everyone who has will more be given, and he will have an abundance. But from the one who has not, even what he has will be taken away. (30) And cast the worthless servant into the outer darkness. In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.'

Differences in the two parables:

The servants in this parable receive different initial amounts. This shows that some of us have natural advantages such as more money, better parents, special skills or abilities etc. In regards to punishment of the wicked, Christ said "Everyone to whom much was given, of him much will be required, and from him to whom they entrusted much, they will demand the more. " (Luke 12:48)" TARGET="_blank">Luke 12:48)
The servants who were pleasing to their master doubled their money. Each fulfilled his responsibility to what was expected although the actual quantities were different.
The final servant is much different in this parable. His actions proved that he was a "slothful servant", unworthy of even being in the kingdom. He was cast into outer darkness, words used to describe the fire and abandonment of Hell (see also Matthew 22:13;" TARGET="_blank">Matthew 22:13; Matthew 3:42, 50;" TARGET="_blank">Matthew 3:42, 50; Matthew 24:51)" TARGET="_blank">Matthew 24:51) The lazy servant did not lose his salvation, but rather, through lack of good works he showed that he never was a true believer.

One might ask, "Can a person be called a believer who doesn't do anything for God?" The true believer will always show fruit in his life, even if it is a small amount. "He indeed bears fruit and yields, in one case a hundredfold, in another sixty, and in another thirty." (Matthew 13:23)." TARGET="_blank">Matthew 13:23).

Other verses

Other places in scripture give us more understanding on the loss of rewards for the believer:

1) Believers can receive both bad and good for their rewards.

2 Corinthians 5:10" TARGET="_blank">2 Corinthians 5:10 For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may receive what is due for what he has done in the body, whether good or evil.

2) Wages are given to the believer for his labor. Heaven is not the reward for the faiththul, but the faithful will be rewarded in Heaven.

1 Corinthians 3:8" TARGET="_blank">1 Corinthians 3:8 He who plants and he who waters are one, and each will receive his wages according to his labor.

3) God is a fair judge. He will not miss any single work done for him.

Hebrews 6:10" TARGET="_blank">Hebrews 6:10 For God is not unjust so as to overlook your work and the love that you have shown for his name in serving the saints, as you still do.

4) Rewards, even though given for service, are not really deserved in the sense that a paycheck or wages are deserved. Good works of a Christian are the expected results of someone redeemed by God.

Luke 17:9" TARGET="_blank">Luke 17:9 Does he thank the servant because he did what was commanded? (10) So you also, when you have done all that you were commanded, say, 'We are unworthy servants; we have only done what was our duty.'"

5) Rewards are given for things done with a good motive, without thinking of the reward itself.

Luke 6:35" TARGET="_blank">Luke 6:35 But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil.

6) Some have suggested that tears mentioned in Revelation 21" TARGET="_blank">Revelation 21 refer to the end of a time of sadness after the Judgment Seat of Christ. However, the verse refers not to sad events in heaven that cause tears, but the results of sin on earth that caused sadness. Death, mourning, crying and pain are all earthly emotions that will cease when God creates a New Heaven and a New Earth (Revelation 21:1-5)." TARGET="_blank">Revelation 21:1-5).

Conclusion

Believers are saved by grace, through faith, not of works. But from the moment of salvation to the end of life, God is watching for spiritual growth and service done with a good motive until the day he calls us home. He will then test the works of every believer by fire. That which remains will result in greater service in the Kingdom. Those who waste their lives here will suffer the loss of being what God designed us for. The person that God is molding me into will become the person I will be for all eternity.

Shad David Sluiter
Other pages in this section

About this site

How will married believers relate to one another in heaven?

How will married believers relate to one another in heaven?

The Scriptures do not give us much direct teaching about this; however, we can be certain that in heaven the Lord will not take from us what brought righteous joy on earth. Would he remove the love that so enriches a believer’s life here? In a Christian’s marriage that love is a fruit of the Spirit’s working in the believer (Galatians 5:22," TARGET="_blank">Galatians 5:22, Ephesians 5:25" TARGET="_blank">Ephesians 5:25 - same root words).

If we are assured from Scripture that we will know each other in our eternal state (Matthew 17:3, 4)," TARGET="_blank">Matthew 17:3, 4), then believers will know and love their spouses to at least the same degree as they did on earth. How that will compare to a believer’s love for the many other fellow-believers may be difficult to answer, but at least the love for a spouse will not be less than it was on earth. We will find no disappointments in what grace has provided for us eternally in Christ! The grace of God - His very character - assures us of that.

D. Oliver
Other pages in this section

About this site

Why did God reject Cain's sacrifice?

“By faith Abel offered unto God a more excellent sacrifice than Cain. . . God testifying of his gifts, and by it he being dead yet speaketh.”Hebrews11:4" TARGET="_blank">Hebrews11:4

Why were Abel and his offering accepted, and Cain and his offering rejected? Does the expression “more excellent” imply that there was something excellent in that of Cain?

The word translated, “more excellent,” is literally “more, “or’ ‘greater,” and is used either of quantity or quality, here clearly of the latter. It does not imply any excellence in Cain’s offering, otherwise we should not read, “but unto Cain and to his offering God had not respect.” Also later God said to him, “If thou doest well (i.e., come like Abel with the slain victim, implying that Cain had not done well in offering his fruit of the earth), but if thou doest not well (i.e., persist in thy refusal of that offering;) sin’ lieth at the door; i.e., croucheth like a wild beast ready to spring. There can be no reasonable doubt that God had revealed to His fallen creatures how they must approach to Him—even by the minhab or approach offering—a lamb of the flock. Clearly this was to be slain, as the expression—”of the fat thereof” shows. Had there been no such revelation, how could Abel have had “faith” to draw near in this way?

I remember years ago seeing a blind Kabyle reading in Braille type by the wayside in North Africa, what I learned to be this fourth chapter of Genesis. When we asked him why God accepted Abel’s offering, he replied, “There was something in it which spoke of the Messiah.” This is true; no doubt that sacrifice was a type of the Lamb of God slain at Calvary, and foreshadowed the bruising of the Kinsman’s heel. Abel confessed himself worthy of death and appropriated the death of the victim in his stead. Cain’s offering was of the same vegetable kingdom as the fig-leaves of the aprons of Adam and Eve, and as the host of flour and water, which the Romanist and Ritualist offer on their “altars,” all of which are bloodless offerings and powerless to remit
sin.

W.H.

Other pages in this section

About this site

Is there a difference between the

Is there a difference between the “Principalities” and “Powers” mentioned in Ephesians 1:21; 3:10; 6:12;" TARGET="_blank">Ephesians 1:21; 3:10; 6:12; Colossians 1:16;" TARGET="_blank">Colossians 1:16; 2:10 and 2:15?

Some of the statements made concerning them suggest that they are good, others that they are evil.

The words “principalities” and “powers,” when used together, define the status of certain who hold high place of rule, whether among men, or among angelic beings. In the former connection they are found in Titus 3." TARGET="_blank">Titus 3. i, where we are exhorted to be subject to them; while of the latter the clearest example is perhaps Ephesians 6:12, in which they are definitely set in contrast with “flesh and blood.” In some passages, as Romans 8:38," TARGET="_blank">Romans 8:38, Ephesians 1:21," TARGET="_blank">Ephesians 1:21, Colossians 1: 16," TARGET="_blank">Colossians 1: 16, they occur in a statement of such a character that it might perhaps be thought of as inclusive of both.
With regard to those principalities and powers which are angelic, there certainly does seem to be a difference on the lines indicated in the question above. Against those mentioned in Ephesians 6:12" TARGET="_blank">Ephesians 6:12 we have to fight, and verse I shows that their leader is the Devil. But on the other hand, the principalities and powers of Ephesians 3:10," TARGET="_blank">Ephesians 3:10, who are even now learning lessons through the Church of the manifold wisdom of God, can scarcely be thought of as other than good, especially when comparison is made with the similar statement of 1 Peter 1:12," TARGET="_blank">1 Peter 1:12, “Which things angels desire to look into.” It must not be thought however that their being described as “in heavenly places” is sufficient proof of their goodness, since this is the very same term which is rendered “high places” in connection with those of chapter 6. z (see R.V.).
According to Col 1:16," TARGET="_blank">Col 1:16, all principalities and powers were created by Christ, and this of course implies that they were all good originally. But we read in Jude 6" TARGET="_blank">Jude 6 (R.V.) of “Angels which kept not their own principality,” an expression which will at once suggest a reason why there should now be found both good and evil amongst them. Then in Revelation 12:7-9" TARGET="_blank">Revelation 12:7-9 we read of a conflict between good angels under the leadership of Michael and evil angels led by the Devil, in which the latter and his host will be defeated, and cast down to the earth from the heavenly position until then occupied by him.
W.R.

Other pages in this section

About this site

Why does Peter use the word "heavens" instead of "heaven" in 2 Peter?

Why did Peter (2 Peter 3:13)" TARGET="_blank">2 Peter 3:13) refer to "heavens" while John (Revelation 21:1)" TARGET="_blank">Revelation 21:1) spoke of "heaven"?

"Heavens" is found only 19 times in the New Testament, but "heaven" is found over 250 times. The singular and plural are used interchangeably. Both are used for the aerial heavens, the heaven of stars and even for the dwelling place of God (Acts 7:56," TARGET="_blank">Acts 7:56, Ephesians 4:10)." TARGET="_blank">Ephesians 4:10). However, the four times that Peter uses "heavens" in his second epistle, the context shows that he is speaking of the created heavens which will pass away in the Day of the Lord. The fifth time he uses "heavens" is a reference to the New Heavens of the Eternal Day where righteousness will dwell.

John only uses "heavens" once in the Revelation. In the 56 tines that he uses "heaven," 45 times are a reference to the created heavens, sometimes it is used just to contrast that which is above from that which is beneath, or earthly, but 11 times it refers to God's own dwelling place, The Lord Jesus called "the Heaven of Heavens" (1 Kings 8:27)" TARGET="_blank">1 Kings 8:27) "My Father's house" (1ohn 14:2). Paul calls it Paradise and "the third heaven" (2 Corinthians 12:2-3)." TARGET="_blank">2 Corinthians 12:2-3). To us, its most precious name is "Home" (2 Corinthians 5:8," TARGET="_blank">2 Corinthians 5:8, JND).

N. Crawford

Other pages in this section

About this site

Main Menu

Will there be regrets in Heaven for believers?