My teen age child is rebellious. What can I do?

What can Christian parents do to help their wayward, rebellious teenagers?

Keep the relationship. Maintain communication and affirm your unchanged love. The child knows your standards; nagging will destroy communication.

The Lord (Isaiah 1:2)" TARGET="_blank">Isaiah 1:2) and the prodigal’s father (Luke 15:13)" TARGET="_blank">Luke 15:13) had wayward, rebellious children. Combining these two illustrations provides several suggestions:

1. Continue to communicate as positively as possible (as God did through Isaiah).

2. Expect, long for, and plan for the best (as in both cases). "The effectual, fervent prayer of a righteous man [and his wife] availeth much" (James 5:16)." TARGET="_blank">James 5:16).

3. Refrain from dwelling on and nagging about the negative (as when the prodigal returned).

4. Allow a mature child to make his choices and live with the results. Sheltering him from the results of his choices is counterproductive (as in both cases).

5. Don’t compromise your own standards (God remains the "Holy One of Israel" in Isaiah).

6. When confrontation is necessary, plan to express yourself effectively ONCE (as in Isaiah).

7. Keep the door open for a gracious welcome (as the prodigal’s father).

Two points contrast with both illustrations:

1. Only one parent is in view, but each parent must maintain a united purpose and effort.

2. We are failing parents. Honest admission of our limitations may help reduce resistance to our parenting. Submission to the Lord in the circumstances will help us to learn more of His heart’s longings for us and others who wander from Him. As heartbreaking as the experience is, in the Potter’s hand it can make us more like our Father and more effective as parents.

D. Oliver
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How do we reconsile God's election and man's free will?

ELECTION
Some have become concerned as regards their unsaved relatives and the doctrine of election; they cannot understand how the difficulty of God’s sovereignty and man’s responsibility is to be met.

That, however, is a poor reason for not believing them both. We do not need to range ourselves in men’s categories and take sides with Arminians, those who hold the responsible freedom of man’s will, or with Calvinists who believe equally firmly in God’s sovereignty; we believe in both, not as a mixture, but as entireties.

If our gospel is limited or hampered by views of God’s sovereignty, we may be sure that we hold it wrongly.

As has been said, we pray as though all depended on God’s grace; we preach as though all hinged on man’s faith. Really the difficulty need not trouble us. It meets us, if we think of it, in every action of our life. Certainly God is Sovereign; “Known unto God are all His works from the beginning of the world” (Acts 15: 18)." TARGET="_blank">Acts 15: 18). God knows what will happen; He forsees; He chooses; He disposes. What can we do therefore? What is to be, will be. “We must wait for Him” to do all. On the contrary, we know we have a responsibility to fulfil and no accusations of Arminianism need turn us aside.

Let us take a simple illustration:—Supposing we have friends returning to the homeland from U.S.A.; but within sight of land the ship catches fire and everyone on board is in great peril. Now nothing is more certain than that God knows all, who will be saved and who will not be, but will that deter the most convinced Calvinist from seeking to bring help to those in danger and straining every nerve to reach them in time? We ask God’s help, and we thank Him when our friends are brought safely to land, but if everyone sheltered behind the purposes of God, and sat down and did nothing, then most probably those in danger would be lost. Now, if we would not act like this in temporal affairs, why do so in spiritual things? We are not called to examine the book of God’s decrees, but by prayer and effort to bring our relatives under the sound of the Gospel. The Lord did not send His disciples to preach election to every creature, nor the Gospel to all the elect (for we do not know who they are), but the Gospel to every creature. When Paul thanked God for the election of the Thessalonians in chap. i. 4 of the first Epistle, he did not cite some wonderful vision or spiritual experience through which they had passed, to justify this conviction, but he based it on: (1) the way they received the Gospel, and (2) the effects of the Gospel on their lives, summed up in verse 9 as “turning to God from idols to serve the living and true God, and to wait for His Son from heaven.” Generally when man’s responsibility and God’s electing grace are mentioned on the same page of Scripture, it is the former that comes first. Thus in John 5:40" TARGET="_blank">John 5:40 the Lord said to the Jews, “Ye will not come unto Me that ye might have life” (not ye cannot), and in the following chapter (v. 44) we hear His words, “No man can come to Me, except the Father, which hath sent Me, draw him.” See also Acts 13:46," TARGET="_blank">Acts 13:46, “Seeing ye put it (the Word of God) from you, and judge yourselves unworthy of eternal life, lo, we turn to the Gentiles”; and then two verses on, “As many as were ordained to eternal life believed.” In Acts 18: 8," TARGET="_blank">Acts 18: 8, “Many of the Corinthians, hearing, believed, and were baptized,” and in v. 10, “I have much people in this city.”

We must not limit the Gospel message as a bona fide proclamation of Christ’s death, burial, and resurrection as the means of salvation, available for all, for “God wills all men to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth,” and “Christ gave Himself a ransom for all,” that “whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life”; and the last message in the Scriptures to the unsaved is, “Let him that is athirst come. And whosoever will let him take the water of life freely.” Those who have believed the Gospel and who have the humble confidence that they are amongst God’s chosen ones, give glory to Him alone, and seek to make their calling and election sure. Perhaps there was never a more direct and specific promise from God of safety to any company than to Paul’s ship-companions: “There shall be no loss of any man’s life among you.” “God hath given thee all them that sail with thee”; and Paul added, “I believe God.” This was God’s sovereign act (Acts 27:22-25)," TARGET="_blank">Acts 27:22-25), but in verse 31 —when the sailors were about to flee out of the ship—Paul uttered the warning words, “Except these abide in the ship, ye cannot be saved.” This gives the human responsibility side, to which both saint and sinner should give good heed. It should be understood that this reply is limited to the subject of the question before us, and hardly touches on the great subject of the eternal counsels from the believer’s standpoint.

W.H.

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Do all people go to God at death?

Do all spirits at death go to God?

Numbers 16:22;" TARGET="_blank">Numbers 16:22; Numbers 27:16;" TARGET="_blank">Numbers 27:16; Job 34:14, 15;" TARGET="_blank">Job 34:14, 15; Ecclesiastes 3:21;" TARGET="_blank">Ecclesiastes 3:21; Ecclesiastes 8:8;" TARGET="_blank">Ecclesiastes 8:8; Ecclesiastes 12:7." TARGET="_blank">Ecclesiastes 12:7.

When are the spirits of the unsaved dealt with?

It is a good thing to “purge our references.” I am not sure for instance whether Numbers 16:22" TARGET="_blank">Numbers 16:22 or 27:16 proves that “all spirits go to God.”

The expression in Job 34:14," TARGET="_blank">Job 34:14, however, “gather unto Himself man’s spirit,” describing dissolution, certainly favours the belief that at death all spirits go to God.

So in Eccl. 3." TARGET="_blank">Eccl. 3. 21 the word “upward” points the same way. Eccl. 12." TARGET="_blank">Eccl. 12. 7 is very distinct that “the spirit returns to God Who gave it.”

Hebrews 12:23" TARGET="_blank">Hebrews 12:23 refers only to the spirits of just men. I do not think there can be any question that the spirits of all men are “dealt with” at death, as regards their final destiny, but the measure of reward or punishment awaits a later day. Lazarus of Luke 16" TARGET="_blank">Luke 16 was at once comforted; the rich man was at once tormented, but at the great white throne he will be judged according to his works.

Paul knew for himself, and so did the saints in general, that “to depart” was “to be with Christ, which is far better” (Philippians 1:23)." TARGET="_blank">Philippians 1:23). But I know no Scripture which describes this as having “gone to God,” and I think the propriety of anyone publicly pronouncing on the spiritual destiny of any man, who has died without giving satisfactory proof of repentance, may well be questioned. Certainly it is gravely wrong to speak of one who has led an ungodly life, and died without visible repentance, as “this our brother,” and assert he is now “at peace.” We may not affirm that such a one is saved, but is it within our province to affirm that such a one is lost?

God alone searches the beart and knows what has passed between a soul and Himself at the last. To anyone who had not heard what passed between our Lord and the repentant thief, he was clearly a lost soul, but we know that grace intervened and snatched him as a brand from the burning. Even of Judas, whose sin was manifested and his awful death a matter of common knowledge, Peter refrained from saying anything more than that “he went to his own place.” This, though it left no doubt of his fate, was said among the Lord’s disciples. As far as we know the apostles never referred to the traitor in public.

W.H.

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Why is there a difference in wording in Acts 8 and Isaiah 53?

In Isaiah 53:7" TARGET="_blank">Isaiah 53:7 we read, “He is brought as a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before her shearers is dumb”; but in Acts 8:32" TARGET="_blank">Acts 8:32 the order is reversed, and it is said to be “as a sheep led to the slaughter, and like a lamb dumb,” etc. How are we to account for this reversal?

The quotation in Acts is almost word for word from the Septuagint or Greek version, the LXX, as it is described in letters. The word for “sheep” in the Hebrew of Isaiah 53:7" TARGET="_blank">Isaiah 53:7 is not the same as that used in verse 6: “All we like sheep (con) have gone astray.” The word here is of frequent occurrence, whereas that in v. 7 (ral.iel) occurs only four times in the whole Old Testament. It comes from an unused root, perhaps the same as rAliam—to cherish—connected with an Arabic root—to have lambs. The word in the first part of the verse, translated “lamb” (sëh), is rendered “sheep” in several passages in the Old Testament. It seems, therefore, that the words employed by the Holy Spirit operating on the mind of Isaiah in this verse 7, are not so precise as to necessitate their rendering in the LXX translation as “lamb” and “sheep,” as they appear in our rendering of Isaiah 53:7," TARGET="_blank">Isaiah 53:7, but leave a margin of liberty to reverse the meaning of the words, and put lamb second, and sheep first, as in Acts 8." TARGET="_blank">Acts 8. It is a question of the words used in the Old Testament verse, which as I have said, are not closely defined and of the choice of words by the translators of the Greek version, from which the Eunuch would be reading.

W.H.

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What does the Bible mean about women learning in silence and submission in 1 Timothy 2:12-15?

What does the Bible mean about women learning in silence and submission in 1 Timothy 2:12-15" TARGET="_blank">1 Timothy 2:12-15?

These verses deal with a woman's role in public testimony. Learning in "silence" and "submissiveness" (verse 11), she is forbidden to "teach," since this exercises authority over man. Usurp authority" suggests that only domineering power is forbidden, but "exercise authority over man" JND and others) is clearer. To preach the gospel, open a Bible Reading, minister the Word or be an overseer involves authority over man, as well as teaching, and thus violates Scripture. The reasons follow: in formation (verse 13), Adam was first; in the fall (verse 14) this order was reversed and Eve was deceived with catastrophic consequences. This implies that a modern reversal of God's order will have similar results. however, verse 15 assures the woman of salvation in its fullness if, while fulfilling her unique role of motherhood, she maintains faith with love, holiness and sobriety.

D. Gilliland

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What is "baptism unto the remission of sins"?

What do passages like Acts 2:38" TARGET="_blank">Acts 2:38 and 22:16 mean?

Three passages speak of "baptism unto the remission of sins." They are Mark 1:4," TARGET="_blank">Mark 1:4, Luke 3:3," TARGET="_blank">Luke 3:3, and Acts 2:38," TARGET="_blank">Acts 2:38, all three relating to Jews. Two of these concern John’s baptism. In Acts 19:1-6," TARGET="_blank">Acts 19:1-6, 12 individuals had been baptized with John’s "baptism of repentance," but they were not saved, having never received the Spirit (Romans 8:9)." TARGET="_blank">Romans 8:9). In fact, Paul states (Acts 19:4)" TARGET="_blank">Acts 19:4) that the purpose of John’s baptism and ministry was that people should believe on the coming Christ. When the people were baptized by John, they turned from their nation’s characteristic resistance to God’s message (Acts 7:51, 52)." TARGET="_blank">Acts 7:51, 52). This prepared the way for their faith in Christ.

In the third passage (Acts 2:38)," TARGET="_blank">Acts 2:38), Peter repeatedly exhorted his Jewish listeners to save themselves "from this perverse generation" (v. 40, JND). Thus when they personally repented and "gladly received his word" (v. 41), being baptized as believers served two purposes: submission to the authority of Jesus Christ ("baptized in [lit., upon] the name of Jesus Christ"); renunciation of their nation’s resistance to God’s message.

Being "baptized unto the remission of sins" was only possible therefore for a Jew. John’s baptism prepared them for faith in Christ. The baptism in Acts 2" TARGET="_blank">Acts 2 proclaimed that they already had faith in Christ. In both cases, the baptism did not remove those sins before God, but renounced before others their previous disobedience. It testified against the nation’s rejection of Christ and released them from any relationship to the coming national judgment that rejection would bring.

The statement in Acts 22:16" TARGET="_blank">Acts 22:16 is to be understood in the same way. Paul was already saved when Ananias spoke to him about baptism (Romans 10:9)." TARGET="_blank">Romans 10:9). He had resisted God’s message and opposed the name of Jesus (26:9). Now as he called on that name and identified himself with the Lord Jesus in baptism, he repudiated his zealous participation in his nation’s rejection of Christ.

D. Oliver
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Do we worship Christ or the Father or the Holy Spirit?

PRAYER AND WORSHIP
THE PROPER OBJECT OF OUR WORSHIP

In this dispensation, to which Person in the Godhead should the worship of the assembly be directed?

Without question our Lord Jesus Christ is a true and proper object of His people’s worship. The wise men from the east came to worship Him (Matthew 2:2)," TARGET="_blank">Matthew 2:2), and “when they saw the young child with Mary His mother, they fell down and worshipped (not them, as the Romanist and Ritualist would have it, but) Him”—not to mention such cases as occur in Matthew 8:2;" TARGET="_blank">Matthew 8:2; Matthew 9:18," TARGET="_blank">Matthew 9:18, which perhaps would hardly mean more than an act of deep reverence (for “worship” etyrnologically means “worth-ship,” and is thus used in law courts—”your worship”).

In Matthew 14:33 we read that those in the boat recognised Him as “Son of God;” as did the healed man of John 9:38" TARGET="_blank">John 9:38 when he exclaimed, “Lord, I believe, and he worshipped Him.” In each instance it is the revelation of the glory of His person, which draws out the adoring worship of His own. This was the case on earth after His resurrection (Matthew 28:9)," TARGET="_blank">Matthew 28:9), and never did the Lord disclaim such worship, as did Peter (Acts 4:12)," TARGET="_blank">Acts 4:12), but accepted it as His rightful due.

This is all perfectly true and most blessed, and wherever to-day God is worshipped, our Lord Jesus Christ receives His part, for He is God the Son. But this being so, we must not confuse the Persons of the Trinity. Each has His proper place and function, and in John 4" TARGET="_blank">John 4: the Lord clearly indicates that it is God the Father who is seeking worshippers, and it is “in spirit and in truth” that the true worshipper must worship Him.

The worship of the Old Testament saints was figurative. The worship of the Lord when on earth was direct and personal, but there was another worship, even then beginning, true and spiritual. The Lord Jesus is the Way to the Father. If in our priestly worship we habitually stop short of Him, we fall below what the Lord wills for His people. He is the High Priest over the house of God, delighting to present their worship to the Father. The object, the way, and substance, the power of worship are all indicated in that most inclusive verse, Ephesians 2:18," TARGET="_blank">Ephesians 2:18, “For through Him (the Lord Jesus) we both (Jew and Gentile) have access by one Spirit unto the Father.”

W.H.

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Should a Christian participate in politics?

POLITICS
Is it right for a Christian to give a vote to a candidate in a Parliamentary Election?

We certainly have duties to perform to those who occupy positions of rule in our midst, one is to obey the laws they make. If I do not, I shall get a bad conscience and I shall pay the penalty. “For this cause pay ye tribute also: for they are God’s ministers, attending continually on this very thing.” So I must pay taxes, and rates, and custom dues when I enter the country (see Romans 13:5-7)." TARGET="_blank">Romans 13:5-7). Then I am enjoined to pray “for Kings and all that are in authority, that we may lead a quiet and peaceable life in all godliness and honesty” (1 Timothy 2:2)." TARGET="_blank">1 Timothy 2:2). I am, moreover, to “honour the King” and indeed all to whom honour is due, but as far as entering into the political contests of the country, I see no directions in God’s Word, and I believe the whole thing is alien to our position as “strangers and pilgrims” in the world. If it be retorted, “What would become of the country, if all believers were of this Opinion?” my reply is, it would become neither better nor worse by such a Contingency, but the believers would become much better. What Wordly associations would they be spared! What unequal yokes with the ungodly! “Let the dead bury their dead, but go thou and preach the gospel,” or pray that God may overrule. “The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much,” which cannot be said of the political work of a righteous man; the only effect of which is to shear him of his locks, and bereave him of his joy and testimony.

“Our citizenship is in heaven.” “As the Father hath sent me into the world, even so I send you.” All agree that the Lord did not enter into political movements. He was not sent for that,—are we? All the various political combinations will never succeed in really making the world better, for there is a factor, they do not recognise, and certainly cannot neutralise sin. It is a solemn thought that when at last all political differences are sunk, and the whole world cemented in one great alliance, it will be in deadly, open opposition to God and His Christ.

W.H.

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Are some overseers entitled to more spiritual weight than others?

Are some overseers entitled to more spiritual weight than others?

This questions requires particular balance in its answer, because the answer is both "yes" and "no." The consistent character, experience, and Biblical understanding of some overseers gives them greater "moral authority." The insights of such men deserve particular consideration. That consideration is afforded by others. If a man demands or obviously expects that consideration, he loses moral authority. Neither personality nor manipulative skill gives spiritual weight, not even age alone (Pro 16:31)." TARGET="_blank">Pro 16:31).

While each overseer is personally accountable to the Lord (Acts 20:28;" TARGET="_blank">Acts 20:28; Heb 13:17)," TARGET="_blank">Heb 13:17), the oversight functions as a unit (1Ti 4:14)" TARGET="_blank">1Ti 4:14) in which each elder is essential to the working of the whole. Spiritual weight will influence the decisions of the overseers only to the extent it addresses the issue at hand with the truth of the Word of God. Oversight decisions are not by majority vote, by weighted votes, or by a poll of all in the assembly, but through a consensus that considers all the overseers. Only such consideration fulfills the servant-leadership role the Lord described and exemplified (Mark 10:42-45;" TARGET="_blank">Mark 10:42-45; Phi 2:3-8)." TARGET="_blank">Phi 2:3-8).

The suggested answer then is "yes," because the character and Biblical insights of some will have greater influence on the oversight’s deliberations, and "no," because each overseer has equal responsibility for the decisions made by the oversight.

D. Oliver
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