Heather Anderson - Ontario WI

Heather Anderson Ontario Wisconsin How God Saved Me - Heather Anderson

                When I was growing up, I remember that religion was very important to our family and I am thankful to my Heavenly Father for parents who have always wanted what was best for me. We faithfully attended our place of worship, were very involved in many activities, and I found it very enjoyable. But, I recall going off to college and coming to the realization that there was an emptiness in my soul that I could not seem to fill even though I tried. It seemed that whether I tried my best in school, sports, or whatever, nothing could satisfy my heart.

                When I was 19, I heard a simple gospel message for the first time at a place where they had altar calls every Sunday. They talked about how everyone is a sinner, that Jesus died, was buried, and rose again, and that we need to be born again to go to heaven. I had never heard this before and I wanted to be born again, so I responded to an altar call and someone prayed with me to receive Christ, but I didn't understand that praying a prayer with someone isn't what saves us.

                Later, I sensed something was still missing. I was in a Bible study and the Lord began convicting me of sin through His Word. The verses God used were from Deuteronomy 21:18-21, "If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son, which will not obey the voice of his father, or the voice of his mother, and that, when they have chastened him, will not hearken unto them: Then shall his father and his mother lay hold on him, and bring him out unto the elders of his city, and unto the gate of his place; And they shall say unto the elders of his city, This our son is stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton, and a drunkard.   And all the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that he die: so shalt thou put evil away from among you; and all Israel shall hear, and fear." What struck me was that rebellion deserved death. But, to me rebellion seemed light compared with all my sin, so the conviction came like an arrow into my heart that I deserved to die. I was confused though, wondering if I was saved because of the former altar call experience. I didn't know what else to do, so I tired to make Jesus Lord of my life. It was something that I had heard about and thought it was the right thing to do.

                I was now aware of sin and hated it, and so began the journey of trying to be a "good" Christian. I failed miserably and never felt "good enough". It seemed that the harder I tried, the worse I became. I started to realize that being a good Christian was more than just looking like a Christian outwardly, it had to do with attitudes, one's thought life, and the "fruit of the Spirit...love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance" (Galatians 5:22-23).   Were these things in my life? As much as I tried, the inward peace and reality of true salvation was not there. I was beginning to see that my trying to be good enough was not enough, neither was it what God was looking for, but was actually "filthy rags" in His sight. As Isaiah 64:6 says, "But we are all as an unclean thing, and all our righteousnesses are as filthy rags; and we all do fade as a leaf; and our iniquities, like the wind, have taken us away." Another verse that helped me was Proverbs 21:4, "An high look, and a proud heart, and the plowing of the wicked, is sin." This verse really spoke to my heart about the sinfulness of all things, when a person is not saved, because plowing is considered sin. It was becoming quite clear that "my" righteousness was not going to give me peace. It was during this time that I heard some preaching which pointed out our need for Christ's righteousness to be justified. And the way I saw it was that Christ lived a perfect life (He fulfilled all the law) on our behalf, therefore we are no longer under the law and this brought me great relief from my burden (or so I thought) for some time.

                My seeming assurance of salvation was greatly challenged again in October of 2005 and I began to realize that something was very wrong. When I read the Scriptures, I was feeling so condemned once again because of the awfulness of my sin. It seemed that there was no hope for me. I was so confused and I did not understand what was happening. Could it be that I really wasn't saved? But, I thought I really was. My struggles grew worse and worse. I was unable to rest both spiritually and physically. I lost my appetite. and my peace. The anxiety about my soul was becoming all I could think about every waking moment. I had so many fears and no one could help me or give me an answer. Many that I talked to told me that I could get assurance from God's Word and I am thankful that they did not try to give me assurance by their word. I tried everything and there was no help for my condition. As time went by, I could hardly function. It is hard to explain in words how hopeless and desperate my condition felt to me.

As the darkness deepened, the thought grew that I really might not be saved after all. It was very difficult to let go of my experience eight years earlier because it had seemed so real. However, it did not compare to the reality of the present condemnation. I lost my desire for reading the Word of God, and for being with His people. My sins were ever before me and it was horrible! I felt so cut off from God and all people. Thoughts came that hell would be much like what I was living, but much worse. Not only would I go to hell if I was not truly saved, but also to the lake of fire where the "worm never dies". There would be flames, and I would be cut off from God and His people for ALL eternity! I just had to know I was saved or I could not go on living. I realized, like never before, that I deserved to go to hell because of my sin, that God would be just to send me there. God had shown me that I was calling Him a liar by not believing His Word. I was shocked to discover that I was a Christ rejecter because of all my unbelief. I tried to believe that Christ died for me, but I just had no ability to believe. I had so much fear that gripped my heart especially when I would hear preaching about the Lord's coming. During this time of severe soul trouble, I was reading a book by J. C. Ryle called, "A New Birth," and the first chapter was all about "The Cross". God used this book to make clear to me that I was not resting in what Christ had done on the cross for me for the forgiveness of all my sins. I also began attending meetings where the gospel was being preached from God's Word. It was through the preaching of the gospel that the reality of my lost condition became so vividly clear because my condition matched God's description of a lost guilty sinner.   As the reality of my lostness began to sink deep into my heart and soul, the light of the glorious gospel began to shine in upon my darkened soul. God had provided a remedy for my condition and it was available to me. (Previously this had been hard for me to see because I thought I had become too wretched to be saved. I thought I had lost my opportunity, but things began to change when I saw my place as a condemned and guilty sinner and gave up anything I thought I had from before.) I pondered the truth I had heard. God's Word was true. He cannot lie and He had provided a way of salvation for me. It was in the death of His Beloved Son. This night on April 3rd, I was finally able, by God's grace, to rest in what Christ had done on the cross for me! God was satisfied with what the Lord Jesus Christ did and it became so real that He died for MY sins, I could be satisfied too. He was my substitute! Christ took the wrath of God that I deserved and I could go free!   God demanded blood from a righteous victim for sin. I had been looking to Christ's perfectly lived life and fulfilling of the law rather than His dying for my sins. Yes, Christ lived a perfect life, but it was in order that He could be the perfect and spotless Lamb of God. Truly, He was the only acceptable sacrifice for my sins.

April 3rd was a glorious night! To my amazement all of my guilt, condemnation, fear, and darkness was gone. God gave me rest from all my soul trouble and I was finally at peace with Him. I also had so much joy I could hardly contain myself! It truly was a miracle, and for those who knew me best during those last months, the deliverance was very real. "Giving thanks unto the Father, which hath made us meet to be partakers of the inheritance of the saints in light: Who hath delivered us from the power of darkness, and hath translated us into the kingdom of His dear Son: In whom we have redemption through His blood, even the forgiveness of sins," (Col. 1:12-14). It took me a few weeks to take in that I had really been saved, but God kept confirming it over and over through the preaching of the gospel, His Word, and the witness of His Spirit.

More testimonies available @
http://www.heaven4sure.com/
www.gospelhall.org

Ministry & more @ ~ audio as well…
http://gospelriver.com/

Info about where I gather with other believers…
http://ontariogospel.com/

Another website for the believers in La Crosse, WI
http://www.lacrossegospelhall.com/

Other pages in this section

No one has commented on this article.

< Prev		Next >

[ Back ]

Main Menu